Best Way to Be Hit by a Drunk Driver...

I have, quite by accident (I won't apologize for the pun), found the best circumstances for being hit by an inebriated automobilist. I thought I would share so that if you are ever able to plan ahead for such an event you will know how to set it all up. The following is one set of circumstances which, if met, will ensure that event will be a complete success:

1. Be on business travel so your company insurance will pay for everything.
2. Be in a rental car. This way you can simply exchange the damaged car for another rental, take 20 minutes to file a damage report, and then never have to see or deal with the problem again.
3. Be in a lot of traffic so the intoxicated driver cannot accumulate enough speed to cause any injuries.
4. Have the DUI driver be in a small sedan
5. Ensure that the tipsy small-statured male driver first hits the rear wheel of a young lady's large truck, thereby absorbing most of the impact energy through malleable deformations to his own automobile, causing little or no damage to the truck's tire, and causing his own automobile to literally bounce off the large tire in such a way as to begin to roll over.
6. Conclude the accident portion of the scenario with your own serviceable act of placing your rental car (unintentionally of course) in the path of the rolling car so as to prevent him from completely roll over. In this way you have been "hit" by the drunk driver, causing significant cosmetic mutilation to your rental car, but no serious structural damage or personal injury.
7. You can then add to your service by casually getting out of your car (in the middle of the busy, though stagnated by traffic, freeway) and assist the offending driver out of his car through his passenger window.

Among the obvious advantages of these "ideal" circumstances is the difficulty, even inability of the the imbibed party to perform a "hit and run". It's hard to drive away while your car is sitting on its door. If you can think of better circumstances, please let me know.

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And the blog was without words and empty; and nil was upon the page of the cite. And the fingers of Crutches moved upon the keyboard at the page of the cite.

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And Crutches saw the words, that they were few; and Crutches edited the words and removed the drivel.

And Crutches called the words "Punctilious", and the drivel he called "Compunctions". And thus Punctilious Compunctions were the first entry.