Modern society appears to be made up of extremes. These extremes represent themselves in social spheres, politics, work environments, entertainment, grocery options, and (well, there are actually many many more, but to get to the point) in....
I don't know if I'm ready to share yet. I suppose you might have come right out and said it.
I'm concerned that you will take this the wrong way. Maybe you will feel like I am spilling my soul (which I just very well could be doing while hoping you don't see through that). Or, maybe you will take a comment or observation I make about someone else as somehow self-revealing. On the other hand, maybe I'm just concerned that you will take it as a directed criticism or chastisement (though it may be a warranted self-accusation driven by a guilty conscience, it's not in my nature to directly confront others on their personal failings and foibles of soul). Oh well. I've come this far and might as well finish the thought as not. Modern extremes are also represented in personal openness.
Extreme #1: Our society has changed airing dirty laundry from an unfortunate necessity of specific times when it simply must be done and can't be avoided to a sport where people intentionally dress in layers and seek out muddy rivers to ford just to generate fodder for the clothes line. I personally don't believe this is healthy.
Extreme #2: At the other extreme there are people that are afraid to say anything. They fear that anything they say will come out wrong or at least will not be taken as intended. Either way, it will be used against them in the court of private and public (usually via gossip) opinions. Whether or not this perception is accurate and true, it is sincerely believed. Whether it's an insecurity in their ability to express their thoughts or a lack of trust that they will be given the benefit of the doubt, these individuals hold it all in, festering all the while. While I admittedly fit best in this category and euphemistically dub it "just being guarded", I personally don't believe that this is healthy.
I guess the question for all of us is: How can we find the healthy middle ground; the space where sharing is selectively and profitably proffered, charitably received, and mutually productive?
My "guarded" nature is why so many observations about myself and others are left unexplored, unsaid, and unresolved. It's why most contemplated blog posts never get started; why so many get started and seldom get further than the brainstorming phase; and, good for a one-time-only deal, why this post reached fruition.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Some people would rather document than help.
About Me
- Crutches
- I am an engineer in Saint Louis, Missouri. I created this blog partially out of succumbing to peer pressure, partly out of a desire to explore my right brain a little more. If it's boring, remember: I'm an engineer. I'll do my best. The title comes from me being a little bit of a perfectionist who also happens to worry excessively about not being perfect. Beyond that, there are numerous possible interpretations of the title that I can think of, and they all seem to apply, so I won't elaborate further.
Favorite Links (in no particular order)
Blog Archive
Hanging in There
Some people would rather document than help.
5 comments:
I must admit, I am curious for more details, but as I am a person that more often falls under extreme #2 I am afraid I will not inquire any more but rather this lone comment.
I decided a few years ago that I wanted to try to be more open about my life and experiences. To be more spontaneous and take more risks in what I share with people. This was something I always had a hard time with, and still do to some extent. Honestly, I wasn't sure whether I would like the outcome or not. However, I was motivated by the following:
1. Those who are my true friends would still be my friends no matter what I chose to reveal about myself.
2. I can't expect people to open up to me (something I find desirable in relationships) unless I am willing to open up to them.
3. There are some aspects of my life that are just too complicated for me to figure out on my own. I appreciate having others to bounce ideas off of/share their experiences with me/process thoughts with. I can't help but wonder if the Lord deliberately places people in our path for this purpose.
4. Trying to promote some idealized image of myself takes an incredible amount of work.
5. Life is short.
6. Mosiah 18:8-9
7. Our burdens make up an important part of the learning environment of those around us.
Though my practice of it may deny the principle, I agree with you Adam. I didn't mean to imply that there isn't a place for openness. I didn't mean to suggest that we should all be guarded and closed. I just wanted to suggest that its proper place is in intimate relationships with friends and family, and not so much as is often done in Hollywood exposés, modern tell-all memoirs, and the like.
Again, my practice and principles may be a little different (as I sometimes don't share in person either for lack of the proper "time and place" -- something I'm also generally not doing anything to create), but I still prefer talking with people with whom I feel comfortable to writing things in an impersonal blog that anyone can read.
I imagine I didn't clear anything up and only rearranged my "city walls" in another configuration, but I really was trying to explain my thoughts a little. I guess that once you're guarded it may take some to learn to be otherwise.
City walls. That reminds me of carcassonne. Which reminds me of games. Which reminds me how fun it is to play games. Which reminds me we haven't played carcassonne in a while. Which reminds me we should play sometime.
David Sue as you already know this I fall into #2 and in the last month have been experimenting with being more open and honest! i have found that being guarded is so much easier in the hear and now but in the long run the worst thing for a person! Guess I better keep on experimenting! Miss your face alot!!
Post a Comment