There are many types of scales in this world....
There are scales for mass and weights -- place an object to be measured in one side and then incrementally add weights to the other side until the sides balance. Sum the incrementally added weights and you have the weight of the measured object.
There are objective, quantifiable scales -- Selecting a number from 1 to 407, how many words in this blog entry were misused or misspelled? _______
There are subjective personal opinion or judgment scales --On a scale from one to ten (one being "this blog entry is too cool for words" and ten being "I feel uplifted and edified by this blog entry"), how would you rate this blog entry?
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)
or...
Select from the following scale the answer that best describes your satisfaction with this blog:
(_) Highly unsatisfied with the rate at which these quality blog entries are posted
(_) Unsatisfied with level of recognition Crutches receives for creativity and originality
(_) Neither unsatisfied with the content nor satisfied with the length
(_) Satisfied.
(_) Highly satisfied with the technological wonders that make this blog possible
(_) I Don't Know how I could be more pleased
Because on a scale from 1 to 10 life is too short to be taken too seriously all the time, I suggest an altogether new type of scale. This type of scale combines the benefits of all the previous types without compromising on the ability to confuse and obfuscate. This type can be used to explore new depths of utility-less-ness. A Crutch scale is formed by combining numerical quantification with subjective unquantifiable descriptors.
Place your level of hunger on a scale from 1 to hungry...
On a scale from one to hungry, I'm pretty hungry.
It is particularly useful for indecisive people who can modify any scale to accommodate their indecision. For instance, if asked, "On a scale from 1 to 10, indicate your preference for each of the following: Chinese, Mexican, Italian, or American food", the sluggish decision maker could respond with an emphatic, "I'm 100% in flavor of eating."
Studies have shown that on a scale from one to Useful in Everyday Life, this new type of scale is somewhere between Very Fun and 57.3.
Now, I adjure you. Go forth and experiment, then come back and tell me how you used a Crutch scale.
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7 comments:
On a scale of down right crazy to 10, this was a blog.
I am however curious what prompted it.
The use of such a scale was created in one of those crazy moments in life when you are so hungry and tired that anything is funny. I thought about telling of its origin, but I couldn't make it work -- so I ended up with this. I don't remember what caused me to think about it again and think it should be turned it into a blog entry.
The other day I rode about 10 miles with the emergency brake on. I think it's safe to say that on a scale of one to embarrassed, I was pretty embarrassed.
I also once rode with my parking brake on. Unfortunately due to weather and other circumstances, it would not release once I discovered it was still on. On a scale of cheap to expensive, it was around a $300 mistake. Does that ease your embarrassment?
On a scale from 'no' to 'yes' I'd say 'most definitely!'
Obfuscate--best word ever.
On a scale from one to funny I'd say hilarious.
On a scale of one to I miss you....I miss your guts!
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